I'm a writer. It was my major in college, and it is the one thing I know will always be present in my life. I'm a writer.
I just haven't actually sat down in quite some time to write. There are a variety of excuses I could list. Not enough time, no secluded, private place to write; too tired; no inspiration. But they are all excuses. Lame excuses, at that.
The truth is I have a million ideas in my head. The truth is I write all the time. I just never put the words to paper.
And its going to change. Soon. I miss the life of a writer. I miss listening to certain songs on repeat as I pound out the ideas, thoughts, memories, dreams, hurts, and lives of characters.
Life has been so good to me lately. The Lord has been beyond faithful, to the point that it makes my heart hurt because I know I do not deserve His never-ending faithfulness. Nor do I deserve all the ways that He reveals Himself and His plan to me.
But He is giving it all to me freely, just as He gave me the gift of writing. I'm tired of wasting His gifts.
I'm tired of the excuses. I'm tired of not living my life the way He has intended. And I will stop living my life without Him as my first priority. Because He deserves all of me and more.
And I'm going to live with 100% trust and faith in Him and His plan. There are still unanswered questions and too many unknowns with the house we are planning to purchase. But I am not going to focus on those unanswered questions and unknowns. Instead, I am going to focus on Him and remembering that this house will happen only if He wills it to. And with all my heart, I believe He is willing it, so I will live with that thought in mind.
These are the lyrics inspiring me at the moment. The ones opening my eyes to all the possibilities. They make no sense in regards to my current position in life, but they have awakened my soul on this Sunday afternoon, just as church awakened my soul this Sunday morning. And just as God awakened my soul this Sunday morning by speaking to me through worship and through a beautiful young lady who asked me to mentor her. I feel so unequipped to mentor someone, but I know that if it is God's plan I will be able to do the mentoring she needs.
Leave unsaid, unspoken / Eyes wide shut, unopened / You and me / Always between the lines / Between the lines / I thought I, thought I was ready to bleed / That we'd move from the shadows on the wall / And stand in the center of it all / Too late, two choices to stay or to leave / Mine was so easy to uncover / He'd already left with the other / So I've learned to listen through silence sara bareilles - between the lines